I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
