We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize