Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
