I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
