You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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