OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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