u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
