i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
