I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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