You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
