so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
