Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
