I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
