Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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