Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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