She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
