Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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