the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
