My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think your dad took our porno
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
