I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize