what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
