You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize