so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
