either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
