only if we run a train.
done.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
