3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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