That's intense
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
