I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
