Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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