can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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