You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
