This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
