Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
