honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
