Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
