the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
