i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize