oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
