Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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