Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
