He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize