I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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