yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
