Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't deserve a penis
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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