Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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