Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize