It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
