I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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