He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
