i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize