does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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