pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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