I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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