I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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