you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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