fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
