Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
