is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
