how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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