I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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