now i know why i became what i already was.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
