if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
