It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just invented taco cereal.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize