sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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