we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
