I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
