whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
