Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Randomize
