her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My dick has a subreddit
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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