they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
birth control should be required to get into college
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize