Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
