But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
