Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize