wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
