people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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