The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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