WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
