Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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