She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
