Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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