If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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