possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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