so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
